To Myself

Dear Self,
About a week ago we decided that everything had to go. Every chore chart, money system, discipline method, bedtime routine, reward system, homework hour...all of it. We were going to clear the slate and start over. What worked with 4 kids is not working with 5. What worked with younger kids is not working with our "getting bigger" kids. What used to be manageable is becoming not manageable.

Can we just get a re-do please?

The problem for us is we are very good at throwing caution to the wind and having fun with the children. We are good at days off school and vacation and spontaneous trips to the lake and hikes in the mountains. We are good at swimming in the dark on a school night and letting the kids go hog wild with the crate paper, on the front of the house, for no good reason. We are good at tether ball games and fire pit dinners and trips to the beach. We need to get good at structure and some good deliberate parenting.

The one thing that will not change is our simple, easy, nightly, scripture study routine...hopefully the attitudes accompanying us to it, will.

So, we talked it over with Scott and then we went and cleared the entire bulletin board. Ahh that felt good. We registered on a very good parenting web site and used it's guide to create 5 simple family laws. Over the next couple weeks we will implement a better "family economy" and a simple money system for the kids. We are going to work very hard at being less of a maid and more of a Mother. Besides that, Maids get a pay check and we haven't seen one of those in more than a decade.

We need more simplicity in the daily structure and routines. The kids need to know VERY clearly what is expected and what is required. 5 rules. They can do that. This morning after prayers, I issued two simple challenges and asked that they be ready to report on those challenges after school. This will be a new daily thing. The same two challenges everyday, with a report on how they did before after school snacks are devoured served.

Self, we have good kids. We do. We are just missing the mark here and there and Heaven knows I need a bed time that involves some sleeping and not just bodies scattered on the floor of our room, in our bed and under our feet. Not that family sleepovers don't have their place in the world but we're tired and tired equals cranky. And cranky is not good.

There are so many things we do good. Like how we rock Cali in the rocking chair for every feeding. No TV, no telephone just her and us, singing and staring and touching. Like how we never miss family prayer. Like how we let Ella climb up on the counter and help with the meals. Like how our kids are free to build haphazard tree houses, back yard fires and whole wardrobes out of duct tape. Like how we give back scratches and bedtime stories. Like how we go on hikes and take trips to the lake. We just need a little more respect, a little more quick obedience, a little more gratitude and a lot more joy in the daily tasks of life.

Good luck Self, we're going to need it.

(picture from "Temple Week" taken by portraitsbyrobinlee.blogspot.com)